literature

Survey-It's Better Than Yours

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Literature Text

Introductory questions!

01) Who the fuck is this person and why should I care?

02) How old are they?

03) Human, yes/no?

04) Give me the descriptive basics: their build, their height, their gender, so on.

05) Give me the descriptive specifics: Hair colour, skin colour, eye colour, distinguishing marks or features, so on.

06) What’s the first thing I’d probably notice about them if I met them on the street?

07) How do they usually dress? Do they prefer to dress this way or is there some outside force making them do so? Do they wear a uniform for their job?

08) What’s their posture like? How would you describe their walk?

09) Is there anything that stands out about their voice or manner of speech?

10) Holy crap how did you get into my house?


Personality questions!

11) Introverted? Extroverted? Your mother?

12) Sex: Would your character do it on a boat or in a tree? Would they do it at all? Would they do it with guys? Girls? Dogs?

13) Offensive, defensive, aggressive, passive-aggressive? Examples, man!

14) What personality quirk would someone probably find most annoying about them?

15) What would someone probably like about them?

16) What really, really ticks them off? Annoys them? Give me their pet peeves. Now, damn you!

17) What does your character like about themselves? Dislike about themselves?

18) What is it that you think makes your character interesting enough to be written about or role-played as? Why should I care about your character?

19) Would you describe your character as over-all good or bad? Why? Are they more lawful or chaotic? Why?

20) Does your character have any mental illnesses? Were these caused by a specific event in your character’s past?


Speaking of pasts, it’s time to talk History!

21) How did your character get on with their family? Who all was around your character when they were growing up?

22) How well educated is your character? What sorts of schools did they go to? Were they interested in their education?

23) Did your character keep in touch with any of the figures involved in their younger years? Who?

24) Did any particular event in your character’s past shape who they are today more than others?

25) No, really, how did you get into my house?


Activity Period!

26) Give me a quick run-through of an average day for your character.

27) What are their hobbies? Chores?

28) What does your character do for income? Does this take up most of your character’s time or do they have plenty of time to do other things? Has your character started to resent their job? Is your character slowly being burdened by the idea of having to go to work just about every single day for the rest of their life, doing the same thing over and over again until they are finally driven completely insane, until they finally snap? Is your character one day soon going to go to work armed not with a bagged lunch but a shotgun and slowly trudge from one co-worker to the next, blowing each and every one of their brains out?

29) What does your character wish they could do more often?

30) What does your character wish they didn’t have to do?


Time for Favourites!

31) What is your character’s favourite food and/or drink?

32) What is your character’s favourite specific instance of various media? Favourite TV show, favourite book, favourite movie, favourite author, etc.

33) Does your character listen to music? What kind?

34) If your character were to list a few of its favourites for me, would I think they were pretentious? Or low-brow?

35) If your character was a tree, what kind of tree would they be?


Let me talk to your character for a second!

36) Hi, how are you?

37) No, really. How are you?

38) That’s alright, I suppose. If you’re going to lie to me about it I guess I can’t stop you.

39) Look, we both know you’re not going to get any better if you don’t take our conversations seriously.

40) If you were any kind of tree, what -- how the hell did you get into my house?! Where do all these people keep coming from?!


Superstitious fiddle-faddle!

41) Okay, put your creator back on.

42) Is your character religious? Why or why not?

43) What does your character think will happen to them after they die? Do you agree in the confines of the fiction your character resides in? By which I mean, if your character thinks they’re going to go to Hell, but you’ve set the Universe up to follow the laws of reincarnation, you wouldn’t agree with them, even if you don’t, personally, believe in either religion.

44) How important is their religious beliefs to your character? Do they take their religion seriously?

45) Is your character superstitious?

46) Does your character have any good-luck charms?

47) Does your character participate in any rituals? What does your character believe would happen if they didn’t?

48) What is your character afraid of? Why?

49) What is your character’s cardinal sin of choice (sloth, greed, gluttony, vanity, wrath, envy, lust)? What is your character’s cardinal virtue of choice (prudence, justice, temperance, courage, faith, hope, love)?

50) Is your character persecuted for their beliefs, or in danger of being persecuted for their beliefs?


Social Stuff!

51) Is your character well-liked? Why or why not? Do they have a lot of friends? Can I meet their friends? Would their friends like me? Could I come over and, you know, hang out for a few hours, maybe have dinner with them? Please, I’m really hungry. I’ll be good. Please?

52) Does your character like people in general? Do they make friends easily?

53) Is your character “seeing” someone? Who? Describe their relationship for me.


That’s it!

54) Anything you want to add before we wrap this up? Anything at all? Some weird quirk or something that didn’t get covered in the other questions?

55) That’s it? You’re sure? Good. Now get the hell out of my house.
Damn right, it's better than yours.
© 2009 - 2024 MadKatter
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CaleighCatastrophe's avatar
Def doing this survey. :]!